“I Could Never”
As newlyweds, Steve and I both agreed that adoption was on our hearts. A little research showed us that adopting through the Alberta government was an option that we could pursue- but there was a catch. All those children were considered to have special needs.
A special needs child, really?? I could never handle that kind of pressure, I thought. That would definitely disrupt our plans to have picture perfect family outings and vacations. I didn’t think there was any room for “special needs” in our perfect family, and couldn’t possibly welcome that option into our life.
However, God slowly changed our hearts and we began to pursue adoption through the Alberta government. We were then introduced to the Foster to Adopt program, and I immediately said, “No way, I could never foster before adopting. What if it fell through? That would rip my heart to shreds. I would love them too much to give them back.”
Once again, our hearts kept changing and softening and we started the process to become foster-to-adopt parents! We were thrilled… and somewhat terrified. When we were approved, our support worker asked us about foster placements and we declined. But again, the “I could never…,” was the very thing that troubled my heart.
We realized that it wasn’t right to shelter our hearts from pain and vulnerability, at the expense of living in God’s will for our lives. If we had walk through the process of a child leaving our home, the love of God would be deep enough to cover that pain and heal our hearts. Life is valuable, and each life needs the love of God.
Since that time, we have had the privilege of welcoming 4 beautiful girls into our home and saying goodbye to 3 of them so far. Has it been worth the pain? Yes. Even in the moments when my shattered heart hurt so bad that I could barely breathe, I never regretted loving.
Unconditional love has been given to us and we have been called to pass that same love to others. As a family, we have chosen this even if it hurts, we will love when God asks us to.
Steve and Beki Ryzuk